Adult Sunday School - October 8

An article from 2021 led us to think about the differences between being nice (that word is not in the Bible) and being kind (the Bible uses that word many places) and, more importantly, to think about what all this suggests for us as we live as followers of Jesus. So that will be the topic of our next class on October 8.  If you wish to start thinking about our topic in advance, here is the lesson. 

'Nice' Is Not a Biblical Word; 'Kindness' Is 

In the News 

Editor's note: Our topic today was suggested by a recent opinion piece that referred disparagingly to Christians as "nice people." But the article, in our opinion, was more of a polemic than a helpful discussion starter. So we have chosen to address the topic suggested by the headline rather than detail the article's point of view. 

The American humorist Mark Twain once wisecracked that the church is "a place where a nice, respectable person stands in front of other nice, respectable people and urges them to be nicer and more respectable." 

That wasn't a compliment to the church, but it was, perhaps, a case of reductionism being carried to a ridiculous extreme: the majestic "Love your neighbor as yourself" being shrunk down to "Be nice to everyone" -- or, in the words of a Sunday school song, "Jesus wants me for a sunbeam." 

David Sanford, a writer at Crosswalk.com, noted that in the Gospels, Jesus is seen as "the very definition of loving with all his heart, soul, strength and mind," but sometimes he also comes off as "anything but 'nice.'" 

Sanford also noted that "nice" is not a biblical word. "I've checked every major English-language Bible published in the past five centuries," he said. "'Nice' doesn't appear once. Not even about Jesus. Especially not about Jesus." (For more on this, see #1 in the "For Further Discussion" section below.) 

None of this should be taken to mean that niceness is a bad thing -- and many people, Christian and otherwise, are naturally nice. But when defined as being "pleasantly agreeable," it can mean going along with or excusing wrong things rather than standing for what is right and just. 

In her book Nice: Why We Love to Be Liked and How God Calls Us to More, Sharon Hodde Miller, a pastor's wife, writes about her own experience, saying, "I identify [niceness] as an idol in my life because I have served it tirelessly, and it has served me well in return. My devotion to it has won me a lot of acceptance and praise, but it has also inhibited my courage, fed my self-righteousness, encouraged my inauthenticity, and produced in me a flimsy sweetness that easily gives way to disdain." 

Further on, Miller adds that after observing "the fruit of this false idol in my own life, here's what I have concluded: I cannot follow Jesus and be nice. Not equally. Because following Jesus means following someone who spoke hard and confusing truths, who was honest with his disciples -- even when it hurt -- who condemned the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and turned over tables in the temple." 

Miller notes that our world "swings between sweetness and outrage," but she says that while the two behaviors seem to be at odds with each other, in reality, "they are two sides of the same coin: a lack of spiritual formation." 

So spiritual depth is needed, and if we are to go beyond mere niceness, what is a virtue with such depth? The Rev. Philip DeVaul, rector of the Episcopal Church of the Redeemer in Cincinnati, says that virtue is kindness. While to be nice is to be pleasant or pleasing -- a nice shirt, a nice compliment, a nice person -- to be kind is to be helpful and benevolent -- to do something that helps someone who is in distress or upset. There may be overlap between these, but they are not the same. 

But before DeVaul gets to addressing the virtue of kindness, he asks whether Christians really think being nice is an issue for the church. "Do we really believe that the overwhelming reputation we've cultivated in this world is that we're too nice?" DeVaul asks. "When non-Christians think about Christians, is the first (or second or seventh) word that comes to mind 'nice'? For that matter, when Christians think of the other Christians we know, are we really worried they're just too nice? Can all (or any) of the church's great failings throughout history be traced back to relentless and unrepentant niceness?" he asks. 

"No" is the right answer to all of those rhetorical questions, we think. 

Thus, DeVaul concludes, "it's overwhelmingly clear at this point that Christians know we can't always be nice. It seems like well-documented territory. ... But do you know what Christians are supposed to be? We're supposed to be kind." 

Making his case, DeVaul writes, "Paul's letters to churches in the New Testament consistently emphasize the need for these new Christians to put kindness and consideration of the other at their core. He tells them that kindness will abound like fruit from the heart of a real Christian community. ... The comparison is clear: Paul is saying that to be kind is to know who Jesus is -- to be kind is to be like God himself." 

More on this story can be found at these links: 

11 Reasons Christianity Is More Than Just Being 'Nice.' Crosswalk.com 

(https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/reasons-christianity-is-more-than-just-being-nice.html) Why Niceness Weakens Our Witness. Christianity Today (https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2019/august web-only/virtue-vice-why-niceness-weakens-our-witness.html) 

Being Christian Doesn't Always Mean Being Nice, but Being Kind Is Another Story. The Orange County Register (https://www.ocregister.com/2015/03/19/being-christian-doesnt-always-mean-being-nice-but-being kind-is-another-story/) 

Applying the News Story 

DeVaul is right about the prominence of kindness in the scriptures. Consider these verses: 

Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin? --Isaiah 58:6-7

He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? --Micah 6:8 

Thus says the LORD of hosts: Render true judgments, show kindness and mercy to one another; do not oppress the widow, the orphan, the alien, or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another. --Zechariah 7:9-10 

Then the king will say to those at his right hand, "Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me." -- Matthew 25:34-36 

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful ... --1 Corinthians 13:4-5 

By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. --Galatians 5:22-23 

Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. --Ephesians 4:31-32 

What's more, the Bible cites kindness as an attribute of God: 

Hear me, O LORD; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies. --Psalm 69:16 (KJV) 

... But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love [Hebrew chesed = "lovingkindness" in older Bible translations], and you did not forsake them. -- Nehemiah 9:17 

[God] raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. --Ephesians 2:6-7 

But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of any works of righteousness that we had done, but according to his mercy, through the water of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit. This Spirit he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior ... --Titus 3:4-6 

The Big Questions 

1. What are the similarities between niceness and kindness? What are the differences? What is the essential character of kindness? 

2. In what ways ought the example of Jesus serve as a model for how we interact with others? 

3. When have you seen niceness get in the way of doing the constructive thing?

4. Do you agree with Sharon Hodde Miller when she says that our world "swings between sweetness and outrage," but that the two behaviors are, in reality, "two sides of the same coin: a lack of spiritual formation"? How might spiritual formation affect a tendency to be easily outraged? to be "sweet"? 

5. What personal call from God might be perceived in the ways the Gospels show Jesus responding to opponents? to people in need? to children? to those who mourn? to those who have plenty? 

Confronting the News With Scripture and Hope 

Here are some Bible verses to guide your discussion: 

John 8:7, 10-11 

7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." ... 10 Jesus straightened up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11 She said, "No one, sir." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again." (For context, read John 8:1-11 

(https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john+8%3A1-11&version=NRSV).) 

These verses are excerpts from the gospel account of Jesus being asked by scribes and Pharisees to render a judgment about a woman caught in adultery. Verse 7 contains Jesus' response to the scribes and Pharisees, and it wasn't nice -- Jesus wasn't being "agreeably pleasant." But his words were direct, to the point and what needed to be said. 

Questions: Verses 10-11 contain Jesus' response to the woman. How would you characterize it? Was it nice? Was it kind? Or something else? Explain. 

Matthew 5:13-16 

You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot. You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." (No further context necessary.) 

In this passage from the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is talking about how his followers should relate to the society in which they live. They should be "salt" and "light." 

While in common speech today, "salty" is usually a euphemism for profane language, Jesus was likely referring to the way salt preserves food and changes its flavor. Salt may even have been a catalyst for dung to burn as fuel for a household's earthen oven. In that time, as in ours, salt was critically important to daily life. In fact, so valuable was it that the Roman legions sometimes received part of their wages in salt, and they were happy to get it. These salt-wages were called the "salarium," and our word "salary" comes from the same root. Thus, when a soldier shirked his work, his comrades said he was "not worth his salt." 

Jesus warns about salt losing its "saltiness." Actually, salt does not lose its taste by some chemical breakdown, but only by becoming impure, being so intermixed with other elements that its salty potency is overpowered. Thus, Christians need to avoid being so like the society of which they are a part that their example and witness are diluted and have no impact.

That's even clearer in Jesus' words about being the light of the world, where he says directly that we should let our light shine so that others may see our good works and give glory to God. 

Together, salt and light can be shorthand for the cultural relevance of Christianity. Mark Twain described the job of preachers as standing before a congregation of nice people and exhorting them to be nicer, but it's more important that we be urged to be salt and light. 

Questions: What is it that makes us salt and light? Is it avoidance of profanity coupled with good deeds? Is it good deeds alone? Is it giving our faith testimony? Is it all of the above and more? Is it something else, and if so, what? How, if at all, is niceness related to being salt and light? How, if at all, is kindness related to being salt and light? 

Acts 17:6 

When they could not find them, they dragged Jason and some believers before the city authorities, shouting, "These people who have been turning the world upside down have come here also ..." (For context, read Acts 17:1-9 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+17%3A1-9&version=NRSV).) 

This passage reminds us of how potent Christianity can be. The apostle Paul, on his second mission tour through Asia Minor, is traveling with fellow Christian Silas. They come to Thessalonica, where they stay as guests in the home of a man named Jason. They spend three consecutive Sabbath days in the synagogues explaining that Jesus is the Messiah, and telling how the Hebrew scriptures point to him. As a result, some of the Jews, as well as some Gentiles in the community, become believers. 

But some others get jealous of the following that Paul and Silas have, and instigate a mob to go search for them. They cannot find them, so they drag Jason and some of these new believers before the city magistrates, charging, "These people who have been turning the world upside down have come here also ..." 

Hmmm. Turning the world upside down. Do you get the feeling that these early Christians were doing more than being sunbeams for Jesus? Paul was urging the people to be something greater than nice and respectable. 

Those making this charge that Christians were turning the world upside down were wrong in the way they meant it. They meant that the Christians were a political threat, "acting contrary to the decrees of the emperor," which is what they said, but that wasn't the case. Their charge, however, was correct in ways they couldn't envision. When these Christians said, "There is another king named Jesus," they weren't intending to knock the emperor off his throne; they were intending to change the whole world. 

And they did. The subsequent tale of Christianity is about the gradual spread of the gospel. 

Questions: What sort of turning the world upside down today is needed, and how can Christians participate in that? What qualities and virtues do we need? 

Isaiah 42:1-3 

Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations. He will not cry or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street; a

bruised reed he will not break, and a dimly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice. (For context, read Isaiah 42:1-4 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+42%3A1- 4&version=NRSV).) 

In Isaiah, these words refer to an unidentified servant God would send to the troubled Israelites. But in the New Testament, these words are quoted to refer to Jesus (see Matthew 12:15-21 

(https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+12%3A15-21&version=NRSV)). Note how the references to not breaking a "bruised reed" and not quenching a "dimly burning wick" are metaphors for kindness. 

Questions: Where have you seen the "mending" activity of Jesus in life? Why do you suppose so many hospitals were originally founded by churches? 

For Further Discussion 

1. Respond to this excerpt from TWW team member Stan Purdum's sermon, "The Divisive Jesus," based on Luke 12:49-56 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+12%3A49-56&version=NRSV): 

"Gentle Jesus, meek and mild, look upon a little child ..." (At this point, people who have actually read the Gospels should be either cringing or gagging.) 

"Gentle Jesus, meek and mild, look upon a little child ..." is the opening line of one of Charles Wesley's well-known hymns, but for painting a word-picture of Jesus, he could hardly have chosen a less applicable word than "mild," especially in light of today's gospel reading. 

How about this instead: "Divisive Jesus, strong and riled ..."? 

Okay, maybe "riled" isn't quite the right word for this particular passage either -- we'd be better to rework the phrasing of Charles' lyrics so that we don't have to rhyme with "child" -- but riled is closer to the truth than mild. 

Actually though, we're more concerned about a word Jesus himself used in this passage as a descriptor of his ministry: division. "Do you think that I have come to bring peace to the earth?" he asked. "No, I tell you, but rather division!" 

Division is a troubling word, and as it happens, divisive talk and actions from Jesus or about him keep cropping up in the Gospels. Consider: 

When John the Baptist was announcing Jesus' coming, he said, "His winnowing fork is in his hand, to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire" (Luke 3:17). 

In the early days of Jesus' ministry, when Jesus visited the Nazareth synagogue with his reputation as a preacher and healer preceding him, the congregation initially "spoke well of him" (Luke 4:22). But Jesus wasn't content to leave it at that, and intentionally provoked them with his "hometown" comments to the point that they wanted to dispatch him over a cliff (Luke 4:16-30). 

When Jesus spoke to a crowd at the festival of booths in Jerusalem about rivers of living water, some hearers decided he was the Messiah. Others doubted it, however, and the gospel narrator says, "So there was a division in the crowd because of him" (John 7:43).

When a would-be follower told Jesus he first wanted to bury his father, the sense of Jesus' response was essentially that the man should leave his family obligations behind, which, if the man had done so, would have effectively divided him from his family (Luke 9:57-60). 

In elaborating on his "I have come to bring ... division" comments in today's reading, Jesus talked about setting father against son, mother against daughter, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and vice versa in all three cases. 

And let's not forget that in the Matthean parallel to today's reading, Jesus says, "I have not come to bring peace, but a sword" (Matthew 10:34, italics added). 

Is this the sort of Jesus we want? We already have enough things that divide us -- politics, nationalism, ethnicity, economic status, social standing, educational level, religion, denominations, cultural issues and more -- without also having a divisive Savior. 

And consider what we're saying when we label someone as having a "divisive" personality. The denotative meaning is "disruptive, unsettling, alienating, troublesome, controversial, contentious, causing or tending to cause disagreement or dissension." Wow! Even the Bible itself says, "Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him" (Titus 3:10 NIV). 

So do we want a Jesus whose stated purpose for coming to earth is to bring division?! Not peace. Division. No wonder some have glossed him over with "Gentle Jesus, meek and mild" pablum. But wait. Before deciding whether we want that sort of Jesus, it's helpful to think about the nature of caricature. A caricature, after all, is an exaggeration of certain characteristics. No doubt Jesus did respond mildly occasionally -- we think, for example, of when he took a little child into his arms and said to his disciples, "Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me ..." (Mark 9:37). Certainly, he was gentle with the child, and while Mark doesn't describe his demeanor toward the disciples, Jesus probably spoke to them in such a way as not to frighten the child. But to brand Jesus "mild" from a few incidents like that is to caricature him. 

Is it possible that we are doing the same when we focus on Jesus' words and actions about division? Is the divisive Jesus also a caricature? There is a danger from portraying Jesus in distortion. In his now classic Christian work Your God Is Too Small, J.B. Phillips points out "the impossibility of a mature adult's feeling constrained to worship a god whose emotional equipment is less developed than his [or her] own." He goes on to say that a "second danger is that since it is axiomatic with Christians that God is love, this most terrible and beautiful of all the virtues becomes debased and cheapened."... 

So, yes, "the divisive Jesus" is a caricature, but the divisive call of Jesus is a reality. ... He still calls us to divide ourselves from those who urge us to morally stray, to put family loyalty above doing his will, to believe or follow those who act as if peace and happiness lie in possessions, to go along with societal voices that build up the self at the expense of others. In our individual case, the divisive part of Jesus' call may be quite specific and personally tailored to our life. ... 

2. Share this lighter moment: It seems that Johnny came home from Sunday school one day looking very unhappy, so his mother asked him what was wrong. Johnny explained, "My Sunday school teacher said Jesus wants me to be a sunbeam, but I want to be a truck driver!" 

Responding to the News

This is a good time to think about your own interactions with others, especially those that are troubled, and to consider whether some kindness on your part might change the tone of those interactions. 

Prayer 

Lord, help us to be inspired and called by all that the Gospels show us about Jesus, rather than just by our created image or caricature of him. In his name. Amen. 

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