Adult Sunday School - October 22

Dear Class Member, 

An article in The Atlantic explains that personalities are not unchangeable -- that they are more like "a set of dials we can modulate than a hand of cards we've been dealt" (to use a metaphor from the article). 

The focus of the article, however, is that some of these changes take place in our older age -- a time when we're likely to think our personalities are set in stone. So we are using our next class on October 22 to explore this topic and consider what it means for people of faith. 

The Personalities of Some Change as We Age 

In the News 

An article this month in The Atlantic tells of recent studies that challenge the long-held assumption that in our senior years, we are so stuck in our ways that we are unlikely to change. The new studies, however, indicate that as we reach and continue into our 60s, our personality may undergo some changes. 

While some of these changes may be attributed to issues of an aging brain, such as cognitive impairment and dementia, researchers say those causes don't fully explain the phenomenon. They now think that personality can change in response to circumstances, such as coming to terms with loss and acclimating to changes in their lives. 

This suggests that personality is not really a permanent state but an adaptive way of dealing with life. 

According to psychologists, there are five significant and measurable personality traits that can be tracked to see how they increase or decrease over time. The five are: 

Agreeableness -- how you treat your relationships with others. It's how kind and helpful you are toward people. Overall, high agreeableness means you desire to keep things running smoothly and value social harmony. 

Conscientiousness -- refers to how thoughtful and goal-oriented you are. It's how in control you are over your impulses and your level of organization and work ethic. 

Extroversion (sometimes spelled "extraversion") -- reflects how you interact socially. It describes your emotional expression and how comfortable you are in your environment. A subcategory of extroversion is "social vitality," the amount of energy one has for engaging with others. 

Intellect, imagination and openness to experience -- describes how creative you are, your sense of curiosity about the world and your willingness to try new things. 

Neuroticism -- refers to your emotional stability; neuroticism is characterized by unsettling thoughts and feelings of sadness or moodiness. (Some parts of these definitions are from PsychCentral.) 

The recent studies show that the strongest personality changes occur before age 30 and after age 60. In the latter age bracket, many people seem to decrease in openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion and, especially close to the end of one's life, neuroticism.

To the degree that that statement about decreases is accurate, it's not certain what causes those changes. It's possible that specific events, such as retirement, widowhood and empty nesting, are factors, but not everyone is affected the same by those happenings. Other possible drivers of personality change in senior years are health changes and social support. As Faith Hill, author of The Atlantic article, put it, "If someone is no longer strong enough to go to dinner parties every week, they might grow less extroverted; if someone needs to be more careful of physical dangers like falling, it makes sense that they'd grow more neurotic." 

The current understanding holds that environment and relationships can elicit changes in personality at any age, but before older adulthood, we can usually change our environment and habits and thus avoid personality change, but when we have fewer options regarding environment and relationships, as is often the case as one ages, altering one's personality might be an easier choice. 

TWW team member Stan Purdum tells of a retired man, "George," in his first parish who was essentially a loner. His wife attended the church, but George avoided it and other social occasions. During the occasional interactions Stan had with George, he was not grumpy, but he always seemed eager to finish the conversation and retreat to his house. Eventually, Stan was appointed to another church about three hours away and thus moved from the community. Some time later, George's wife died. Then one day, George turned up at Stan's door. He'd come, unannounced, for a two-day visit. (George could no longer drive, but had come by bus and then taxi to Stan's house.) Though not expecting company -- and somewhat startled that George had suddenly started "neighboring" -- Stan and his wife welcomed George, and installed him in their spare room. During the visit, they found George not only willing to engage in conversation, but even chatty. It was a version of George they'd never seen before -- an altered, but not unpleasant, personality. 

Changes in personality can also be prompted by a simple recalibration of goals. Individuals may be doing less by choice or may be so satisfied with their life and circumstances that they no longer yearn to travel or meet new people. 

More on this story can be found at these links: 

The Curious Personality Changes of Older Age. The Atlantic 

(https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2023/07/old-age-personality-brain-changes-psychology/674668/? utm_source=apple_news) 

What Are the Big 5 Personality Traits? PsychCentral (https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-big-five-personality traits) 

Applying the News Story 

The intent of this lesson is NOT to turn us all into amateur psychologists evaluating the personality (and possible changes to such) of others around us, but to give us some insight on how aging may account for some personality changes we perceive in ourselves and people we care about. The lesson may also help us understand some of the challenges people who are aging without a supportive group of family, friends or church could be dealing with. 

The Big Questions 

1. What changes, if any, have you noticed in the personality of a senior person of your acquaintance (e.g., the "George" story in the "In the News" section above)? If you are a senior yourself, what changes do you see in your personality?

2. Is it possible to permanently deplete your daily social energy (your willingness to engage with others)? 

3. How does your faith help you deal with any anxiety you may have about the changes that may come with aging? 

4. How can you open yourself up to new learnings that might rejuvenate you, help you reclaim a long-buried passion, and give you a new sense of purpose, whatever your age? 

5. How do we determine what God has for us to do at each age of our lives? 

Confronting the News With Scripture and Hope 

Here are some Bible verses to guide your discussion: 

2 Samuel 19:32-35, 37 

Barzillai was a very aged man, eighty years old. He had provided the king with food while he stayed at Mahanaim, for he was a very wealthy man. The king said to Barzillai, "Come over with me, and I will provide for you in Jerusalem at my side." But Barzillai said to the king, "How many years have I still to live, that I should go up with the king to Jerusalem? Today I am eighty years old; can I discern what is pleasant and what is not? Can your servant taste what he eats or what he drinks? Can I still listen to the voice of singing men and singing women? Why then should your servant be an added burden to my lord the king? … Please let your servant return, so that I may die in my own town, near the graves of my father and my mother." (For context, read 2 Samuel 19:31-39 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Samuel+19%3A31- 39&version=NRSVUE).) 

Sometime in the mid-years of David's reign as king of Israel, one of his sons, Absalom, who had developed a sizable following of his own, led a coup against his father, and for a time, David and some of his entourage had to flee for their lives from Jerusalem. Eventually, David's army defeated Absalom's troops, and in a side action, Absalom himself was slain, much to David's grief, for despite everything, David loved his son. 

After the battle, David and his followers returned to Jerusalem to resume his leadership of the nation. On the way, a man named Barzillai came out to meet David, and in a show of support, escorted him as he crossed the Jordan River. This man, Barzillai, was a wealthy citizen, and he had proved a true friend to David. Earlier, when David was in flight, Barzillai had provided food for David and his group. 

So now, when Barzillai came to welcome David's return to the throne, David invited him to join the palace entourage, and experience the pleasure of palace living. 

Though pleased by the invitation, Barzillai begged off, pointing out that he was already old -- 80 years old in fact -- and asked, rhetorically, "How many years have I still to live?" Instead, he suggested that his son Chimham take his place with the king, and David was pleased to grant that request.

Barzillai was wealthy, so he likely had the resources to travel or have interesting adventures or enjoy fine dining or have many possessions or whatever else may have appealed to him. But now, thinking of himself as "old" and recognizing that he no longer had the zest for fine meals and entertainment, he wanted only to stay in his familiar hometown. No doubt, some who had known Barzillai as a younger man would view his personality as somewhat different from what it had been when he was younger. 

Questions: Barzillai asked rhetorically, "How many years have I still to live?" Have you ever speculated about how much longer you will live? How, if at all, did your conclusion affect how you live your life today? 

How do you think Barzillai felt about his current circumstances? Why? 

Deuteronomy 34:7 

Moses was one hundred twenty years old when he died; his sight was unimpaired, and his vigor had not abated. (For context, read Deuteronomy 34:1-8 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/? search=Deuteronomy+34%3A1-8&version=NRSVUE).) 

This verse is not so much a comment on Moses' eyesight and physical energy at the time of his death as on his insight and spiritual energy. Moses, it seems from the statement above, experienced little-to-no change in his personality as he aged. 

Questions: What do you think kept Moses from being "unimpaired" as he aged? What can we learn from this? 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other, but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. (For context, read Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ecclesiastes+4%3A9-12&version=NRSVUE).) 

This passage reminds us of the importance of human connections and cooperation. According to The Atlantic article, loneliness affects 43% of Americans 60 or older. 

Kinless seniors who intentionally seek to network with others in their later years can discover not only that they benefit from working with others, but they may be a blessing to their peers as well. 

Questions: How do you suppose ongoing loneliness affects one's personality? Why?

Matthew 6:25-26 

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? (For context, read Matthew 6:25-34 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/? search=Matthew+6%3A25-34&version=NRSVUE).) 

Here Jesus riffs on the subject of worry and anxiety. A certain level of worry is common to most of us under various circumstances, but part of neuroticism, which is one of the big five measures of personality, is excessive worry. Jesus' words remind us of the care of the Lord as a measure to keep worry in perspective. 

Questions: On a worry scale of 1-10, with 1 being "carefree" and 10 being "obsessive worrier," how would you rate yourself? How might having to move out your home to a more "senior-friendly" facility affect where you are on the scale? How might being dependent on others affect your worry number? How might being well and strong despite being of advanced age change your place on the scale? What helps you experience the peace of God? 

For Further Discussion 

1. For a better understanding of the "big five" personality traits, read and discuss this article (https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-big-five-personality-traits). Then, you may wish to do this free online personality assessment (https://bigfive-test.com/). TWW team member Malia Miller uses this test in the psychology classes she teaches. 

2. Respond to this, from a TWW team member: "My two sisters and I have been caring for our elderly parents (ages 80 and 77) in recent years. Over the past year in particular, their physical needs have increased, as has their resistance to moving into any sort of senior care facility. We also believe we see signs of dementia, though we have no official diagnosis yet for either of them. When I read the article on which this lesson is based, I found it very helpful to learn that some of the personality changes we see in our parents may, in fact, not be symptoms of dementia. For me, knowing this validated our experiences of our parents' decreased agreeableness (Dad), decreased extroversion (Mom), and increased neuroticism (both). Whether or not dementia is occurring, we now can make some sense of the personality changes that have become quite challenging for us as daughters and caregivers." 

3. Read and respond to Psalm 92:12-15 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm+92%3A12- 15&version=NRSVUE). 

4. If you intentionally wanted to change your personality, what steps would you take? Why? 

Responding to the News 

This is a good time to consider what infrastructure, formal or informal, your church has -- or should have -- to keep in contact with aged senior members who have no family in the area. 

Prayer (suggested by Matthew 1:23; 1 Peter 5:7; Isaiah 54:10; Psalm 25:16; Deuteronomy 31:8)

God with us, Emmanuel, thank you for coming to our aid, when we have no one else to help us. When we are lonely and afflicted, you never fail or forsake us. 

Whatever the future holds, we cast all our anxiety on you, because you care for us. You assure us that your steadfast love shall not depart from us. 

As you go before us, help us not to be afraid to follow wherever you lead us. Amen. 

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